


Wizard Bilbo Loses His Temper

by aHostileRainbow



Series: Mostly BAMF: A Collection of Small Fries Kicking Ass (Literally or Figuratively) [6]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, BAMF Bilbo Baggins, Battle of Five Armies, Gen, Implied Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Wizard Bilbo, but vaguely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 09:53:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6700171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aHostileRainbow/pseuds/aHostileRainbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was the youngest of the Istari, never the weakest.</p><p>Hugely AU scene for manic_intent's <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/620763/chapters/1120205">On Adventures and Other Forms of Conduct Unbecoming of a Wizard</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wizard Bilbo Loses His Temper

Staring out at the chaos and bloodshed from his tiny clearing at the battlefield's center, soaking in the horrors of war as he had hoped never to do again, faced with the visceral grief of Thorin's still figure, and then Fili, and Kili - Bilbo felt some self-imposed control inside of him snap.

Fine. If Iluvatar's children and Morgoth's abominations could all agree that they wanted a proper war, he would give them one. Clearly everyone needed a reminder of exactly why not even Saruman protested his retirement.

Raising his staff in a white knuckled grip, the wood hovered in the air for a single, still moment, just in time for Gandalf to catch his eyes from the western edge of the fighting. The Grey Wizard blanched and Bilbo smiled, well aware it was an expression Gandalf would only recognize from the War of Wrath.

His staff slammed into the dirt and the earth trembled, rising and rolling in violent waves, sending every figure on the field toppling like dominoes. When the wave ended, Bilbo was pleased to hear panting breaths, but no more screams, and to see all eyes firmly focused on him.

Speaking at a normal volume, it only took a twist of power to send his much too gentle words rippling through the air to reach men and elves, dwarves and orcs, alike.

"Congratulations, children. You have finally exceeded my patience." With a practiced twist and _push_ , Bilbo sunk his staff a hands length into the soil and murmured a phrase in the language only he and Yavanna spoke, a language as old as the Valar themselves.

Without another sound, the ground opened under every orc and warg on the field, dropping them into thin chutes of gaping black without even a chance to scream, then closed snugly over their heads.

"Now that that minor issue is behind us," Bilbo still smiled easily on the wide-eyed, pale-faced masses, "Thranduil, I will require your best healers. The King Under the Mountain and his heirs have been grievously injured, and if he dies for your bitterness, know that I will personally handle your spider problem. When I am done with Ungoliant's spawn, I will see to the recovery of the Greenwood and call on a few of the Ents to guard her - I assure you, they are no more fond of elves in this age than I am."

He turned.

"Bard, while I am disappointed in your so-called peace talks, I will still request that you gather the injured and take them to the western fields. When that is done, we will have a very short talk of reparations and if I like you better at the end I might resist the urge to curse every field and garden in Dale. You will have to be very persuasive, though, if you want any hope of surviving the winter."

Skimming his gaze over the continued stillness of the field, he was not surprised at the flinches. He knew exactly what his eyes gave away right now - he was very old, and very tired, and very angry. He was also very much Amarvellon, rather than Bilbo, in this moment, and Amarvellon had no duty to Iluvatar's children, only to Arda's green lands. Not even his fellow wizards understood at times how much effort it cost him to care for the creatures that walked his land and only ever harmed it.

Sighing quietly, he turned his gaze up to the sky, "You have your instructions. Heed them."

Soon enough, Bard and Thranduil were scrambling their survivors, but Bilbo still did not look down. Instead, he murmured to the sky, "I say 'when I am done' but it will never be done. We will never have suffered in your service enough. But I am certainly done. The King Under the Mountain is mine now and I will see him and his home restored. The rest of you petty creatures are free to leave my sight and destroy each other as you please. Not even for beautiful Eru can I grieve your fates; you deserve them."

**Author's Note:**

> New headcanon for wizard Bilbo: the reason he's so BAMF is actually the same reason he's the youngest. He was specifically crafted to be the sole defender of Arda's lands and natural life after ____ saw how terribly the land was being abused in the wars while her siblings' Istari cared only for their sentient creations. In other words, Bilbo was created to be able to stand alone defending his ground and so had to be powerful enough to curbstomp even his fellow Istari when they threatened it.


End file.
